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Confessions of a frustrated blind chick |
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Written by Susan Gray
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Tuesday, 07 February 2012 00:00 |
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I am sure, if you asked the people that know me, they would tell you that I have a good attitude regarding my disability. I don't complain, I am independent and I seek opportunities to serve others. I have deep gratitude for the blessings in my life, chief of which are my family and friends.
But, every once in a while, the darkness creeps in, and I am left with a sense of despair that overtakes me. It happens only a handful of times during the year, and usually after a series of small events that have to do with my lack of vision. It is as if a switch has been thrown, and my level of tolerance for one more spill or bump into something has diminished.
My reaction to this welling-up of frustration is like a bottle being capped; responses shut down, and in an effort to minimize any other emotions, I stop interacting with the people around me. This, naturally, leads to the perplexed assumptions that somebody did something wrong, and defensiveness on their parts ensues.
My husband, son and I have just moved into a lovely new house, and the move has been an adjustment for me. The house is not your typical square corners, and has many rooms that are angled to form jutting walls and doorways. It has taken and still is taking some time to memorize the layout, and I have to walk with my hand out, touching the walls or bannisters to find my way around. While it is tiring, I am not complaining. We have gone from a small two-bedroom half a house to more than 2,800 square feet of space, which even the cat loves. This is a minimal sacrifice for the space and organization of this beautiful home.
It is more the everyday series of accidents that affects me, and causes the flood of frustration. Being Italian, I love to cook, and to serve my family, and for meals to be a time of relaxation and family communication. Yet when I have just spilled something for the second time, burned my finger on a dish, and walked into the center island in the kitchen for the third time, the peace of the meal vanishes. My husband asked me how I would like to react, in place of the bottle-it-up response, and I answered honestly: "cry."
These are such minor things, and I have lost so much in my life, that I would hope that these minor annoyances wouldn't get to me, but they do, and finding an appropriate response has been difficult for me. I feel as a person with a disability, that I need to be strong, and that crying over spilled milk is a sign of weakness. It isn't even actually the spill or the bumps or the burns that are causing the reaction. It is the simple fact that I think I should be doing a better job of things; that these kinds of things that happen to everyone should not happen to me. I am not meeting my own ridiculous standards of perfection, and I am mad at myself for the errors. But the truth is, there needs to be a release to that emotion, and it needs to be one that helps everyone feel better, not worse.
This is the beauty of growth and maturity - it never ends. I want to be learning something to make myself better every day. I want to be a person who makes her family's life better by improving and balancing out her life and her emotions. A wise friend of mine once said that we need to bring things out into the light. That way, they no longer have power over us, or can take us hostage. Light shows us our imperfections, and can also be the guide to the changes we need to make to be better people.
Everybody already knows you're not perfect, anyway.
Susan Gray is chair of the Options for Independence board of directors.
Read more: http://auburnpub.com/lifestyles/confessions-of-a-frustrated-blind-chick/article_75bff55e-5124-11e1-a035-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz1luEyIjpa |
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Last Updated on Thursday, 09 February 2012 17:19 |
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My top 10 New Year’s resolutions |
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Written by Susan Gray
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Tuesday, 24 January 2012 00:00 |
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Many people begin a new year with good intentions; either they plan to stop doing something bad or begin doing something good. Usually, the good intention is of a personal nature, and resolutions tend to focus on betterment of a person or his situation. To stop smoking, drinking or eating to excess are all good, health-oriented goals that are of personal benefit.
But what about resolutions to help others? What would be the top 10 things that would benefit people with disabilities in our community? Below is a top-10 list of things that, if we resolved as a community to work toward, countless lives could be changed. It might even feel better than losing 10 pounds.
Options’ 2012 top 10 resolutions wish list:
10. Support additional transportation alternatives for people with disabilities to assist with more independent living
9. Educate our children on the abilities of people with disabilities to end biases
8. Have an emergency management plan in place to assist people with disabilities during a catastrophic event
7. Make all home renovations necessary for people with disabilities to stay in their own homes
6. Assist our youth with disabilities in transitioning to college or careers
5. Make all public places accessible to people with disabilities
4. Give our veterans a place to regroup and get their lives back together
3. Ensure our elderly are properly housed and cared for
2. Employ every person with a disability who wants to work
1. End homelessness in our community
If we measured the degree of difficulty in making even one of these resolutions happen, it would be a daunting task. But, the things that are worthwhile are often difficult and, at times, seem impossible to achieve.
These items listed in the top ten are not impossible to achieve, but they will take time, money and commitment. While our staff and board, and indeed other agencies in our county seek ways to make these things happen for our community through programs and funding opportunities, we cannot do it alone. If one of your New Year’s resolutions is to volunteer or to help out a nonprofit agency, we would welcome your support. If you have a desire to work on any of the projects listed above, please contact our offices at Options for Independence, and we will gladly put you to work! We can’t think of a better way to forget about those 10 pounds than to volunteer. Our office number is 255-3447, and you can leave a message for Susan.
Many of our board of directors’ committees are working on how to make these projects a reality. We would welcome your insights from a community standpoint. We never want it to be the case that no one knew what we needed, and was not asked to help. We at Options wish you all a prosperous New Year, and one where endless possibilities abound.
Susan Gray is chair of the Options for Independence board of directors
Read more: http://auburnpub.com/lifestyles/my-top-new-year-s-resolutions/article_e2b77304-4629-11e1-aa6b-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz1luFQoWZB |
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Last Updated on Thursday, 09 February 2012 17:21 |
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Winter’s difficulties begin for the mobility-impaired |
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Written by Greg Guy
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Tuesday, 17 January 2012 00:00 |
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I don’t ski or snowmobile. I don’t ice fish or ice skate. I don’t snowshoe or snowboard. So for me, the past few snow-free months have been a blessing. The snowblower hasn’t left the garage, and I’ve been able to easily drive to Options daily at speeds near the limit!
What a dose of reality last Friday’s weather provided! It seemed like we went from balmy fall weather directly into storm season. The roadways were clogged with snow, traffic was slowed to a below-20 crawl, and ice formed non-stop on every surface. I was impatient, perturbed and upset at this terrible inconvenience!
And then I arrived at Options to find the same snow clogging our sidewalks and crosswalks, and I realized how indeed minor my individual troubles were. Before I could grab the snow shovel and attack the problem sidewalks directly in front of our building (which had already been cleared once in the early morning by our landlord), I couldn’t help but notice the single set of wheel marks that tracked through the snow. Incredibly, someone in a wheelchair had already tried to navigate the length of our Genesee Street block.
The tracks spoke of the difficulty this person must have endured. There were multiple spots where the person retreated and then tried again to push through the snow. Undaunted, at the end of the sidewalk this courageous person must have pushed through the bank of snow leading to the crosswalk, crossed the street, slammed through the facing snow bank at the opposite end, and continued on his or her journey. Amazing.
I certainly can’t fault the city’s crews, which, I’m sure, were hard at work trying to outrace the storm and keep thoroughfares open at that early hour. And I can’t fault business owners at that time of the morning, either. Most had not yet arrived to open their establishments. What I can do, however, now that winter’s fury is finally being unleashed, is make my annual personal appeal to everyone regarding sidewalks and crosswalks.
On behalf of those who must use our sidewalks and crosswalks as their main route of travel, I ask that you make a personal commitment to keeping these areas clear of snow and safe for travel. For most of us, it only takes a few minutes to clear these areas. For individuals walking or traveling by wheelchair, however, your considerate act may mean the difference between getting to a doctor’s appointment or remaining ill at home. It may be the single thing that prevents someone from going hungry over the weekend because they can’t take the sidewalk to Wegmans for their groceries. Regardless of the resulting benefit, your commitment and willingness to act is critical!
We all cherish our independence. Will you help our mobility-impaired friends and neighbors maintain theirs? Please help keep their “roadways” clear during the remainder of the winter!
Greg Guy is the executive director of Options for Independence
Read more: http://auburnpub.com/lifestyles/winter-s-difficulties-begin-for-the-mobility-impaired/article_5c566598-40b8-11e1-b198-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz1lu5jZoUX |
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Last Updated on Thursday, 09 February 2012 16:42 |
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Being part of the solution |
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Written by Susan Storms
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Tuesday, 10 January 2012 00:00 |
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It is easy to complain when we experience difficulties. As advocates, we at Options face accessibility issues on a daily basis. When the system doesn’t function accordingly, we address it, but more importantly, we seek out solutions to the problem.
My difficulty voting in the most recent election put me in contact with Susan Cohen, of Voting Access Solutions, an independent consulting firm. Susan works closely with Dominion Products, the maker of the ImageCast ballot marking device (BMD). This is the ballot machine that we all use when voting.
Most people do not need to use the built-in functions of the ImageCast BMD that assist people with disabilities. They would just mark their ballot and hand it to a poll worker, or personally feed it into the machine to tally their vote. For people with disabilities, however, additional helpful functions range from an audio feedback to paddles and a straw that allow for independent voting.
Since its inception, Dominion Products has worked on the functionality of the ImageCast BMD, tweaking its programs to more effectively serve the specific disabilities. In 2009, the programmers worked on making the BMD more accessible to people with learning disabilities, but in doing so, the functionality for vision-impaired and blind users was compromised.
I was able to be a part of the trial of the new programming in December of 2010, when Susan Cohen and Dominion Products were at the Onondaga County Board of Elections. Several other people with disabilities were also there testing out the machine and giving their feedback to Cohen and the Dominion staff.
I was brought to the ImageCast BMD and given a set of headphones and a handheld controller panel with several buttons. The buttons were clearly marked as up and down arrows, right and left arrows, a large “X” in the center, and a bar at the bottom for pausing the audio feedback. There were also smaller buttons that controlled the speed and volume of the audio feedback. Audio instructions were given at the outset to familiarize the user with the functions of each key. When comfortable with the control panel, the user hits the advance button to move on to the mock slate of items to vote for. For users like me, who cannot see the video screen at all, it was strongly suggested that the user turn off the screen, as the audio feedback works much smoother by doing so.
As I ran through the selections, voting for my favorite ice cream, season of the year, movie and musical group, I had no difficulty in following the prompts and completing each selection. At the end of the process, the user is given an opportunity to review the ballot to ensure its accuracy. Once confirmed, the ballot is printed out, and the process is complete. The only difficulty that I noted was in the ability to write in an answer or candidate. That process is very tedious, the programmer explained, and they just do not have a good fix for that at this time.
Before leaving, I completed a survey, which asked about the voting experience and whether or not I would be interested in joining a focus group, or being a part of future training. I look forward to these opportunities, and would also like to work with the Cayuga County Board of Elections to eliminate any future problems for voters with disabilities, as I believe that all of us at Options have much to offer in the way of support and education toward improving this process for people with disabilities.
I was distressed to learn that many people with disabilities choose not to vote, and I would like to work on changing that mindset. The more responsibility we take in participating in the choices our government is making, the more effective we can be.
Susan Gray is chair of the Options for Independence
board of directors
Read more: http://auburnpub.com/lifestyles/being-part-of-the-solution/article_51701ec2-3b35-11e1-bfdb-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz1luD4zl00 |
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Last Updated on Thursday, 09 February 2012 17:16 |
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Resolve to start the new year with forgiveness |
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Written by Greg Guy
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Tuesday, 03 January 2012 00:00 |
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It was more than a year ago that Christine Netzer, in a Nov. 24 letter to the editor in this newspaper, accused me of all things evil in Auburn, from traffic accidents to the lack of available shopping carts. While my editorial response at that time sought to make light of the accusations, there was admittedly some sadness and concern over her apparent anger and misconceptions.
Fast forward to the day after the recent long Christmas weekend, when I returned to work at Options to find on my desk a handwritten card along with a bag of small, wrapped gifts for the staff. It was with both curiosity and some admitted trepidation that I opened the envelope, extracted the contents and found the sender to be the very same Ms. Netzer. Only this time, her message was quite different.
Christine Netzer had written to ask for forgiveness.
At the time of her original letter, a series of personal incidents within the city of Auburn had so angered Ms. Netzer that she felt compelled to lash out at something, or someone. The Cayuga H.O.P.E. program for the homeless, administered by Options, served as the target of her anger that day, and I was the bullseye. She admittedly “forgot to verify the facts,” and now, more than a year later, still regretted her actions. She had written to simply say she was sorry.
Come to find out from her note, Ms. Netzer was a past contributor to Options for Independence, having donated a wheelchair and commode to our Loan Closet. She was familiar with our services and acknowledged the need for assistance to the homeless. She concluded her note by saying, “I know you have a big heart. Please accept my apology. I realize now, the pros of the organization outweigh the cons by a far margin.”
Well, Ms. Netzer, consider your apology accepted. It takes a big person to acknowledge his or her mistake, and an even bigger person to ask for forgiveness. We have all been guilty at one time or another of what my grandmother considered one of the great human flaws — the occasional willingness to wag our tongues before engaging our brains. And yes, I’m certainly as guilty of it as the next person!
In the spirit of the holidays and with the new year, I hope we can each resolve to take personal responsibility for our actions, apologize for and correct those errors we may have made along the way, accept the differences that make each of us unique, grant forgiveness to those who truly seek it, and accept and give love honestly and freely. In the final analysis, we’ll all be better people for having done so.
From our family at Options for Independence to yours — best wishes for a happy new year!
Greg Guy is the executive director of Options for Independence
Read more: http://auburnpub.com/lifestyles/resolve-to-start-the-new-year-with-forgiveness/article_64b0433a-35a5-11e1-bf16-001871e3ce6c.html#ixzz1lu64yLgE |
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Last Updated on Thursday, 09 February 2012 16:44 |
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