Options for Independence

During a conversation with one of our vice chairs on Options’ board of directors, the discussion turned to the methods we often employ in advocacy. Having been an involved advocate for more than 20 years, I have encountered many proponents of the disabled, some soft-spoken and well-respected; others brash and unpleasant. Responses differ when we are passionate about a topic. Balancing out right with might can be difficult, especially when met with the roadblocks of ignorance or apathy. How a message is delivered is sometimes as important as the message itself.

Often, people can feel under attack when we attempt to advocate on behalf of a person with a disability. Their defenses are up, and instead of using the experience as one to learn from, they can accuse the person with the disability as the one in the wrong. The response to this reaction can either temper the situation or escalate it. We must be very careful not to offend. Our job is to educate.  This is easier said than done, when the situation means that a person or people with disabilities are at risk of losing a piece of their independence. Passions stir, strong words are said and opportunities are lost.

Understanding that the desire is not to offend, but to preserve and implement the independence of our peers, we are charged with going about the task with diplomacy. While it is unacceptable not to promote people’s independence, the case should be made that we cannot go about gaining that independence by intimidating or alienating public entities. Frustrations are to be expected; roadblocks and sometimes even aggression have been the opponents of the civil rights actions from the very beginning. Words expressed in the heat of the moment affect the outcome or end result, as well as the relationships going forward with the very parties we want cooperation from.

It is said that communication is an art. For me, it is a work in progress, and one that I am learning from every day. Both my peers and public entities continue to teach me how to treat them, and how to be a more effective advocate. The late President Theodore Roosevelt said, “Speak softly, and carry a big stick.” I would like to think that he wouldn’t mind my borrowing that phrase.

Susan Gray is chair of the Options for

Independence board of directors